Chiron In Synastry

The author and her best friend on Jenn's wedding day.

One of my Summer 2012 “Double 007” projects is to figure out what Chiron means in synastry. So far, it’s been slow going (nobody said being a part-time astrologer is easy – darn good thing I still have the day job).

Obviously, Chiron can go either way – it can wound deeply or heal beautifully. Dismal synastry between two individuals involving a tight planet-Chiron conjunction isn’t my focus in this article – one will hopefully opt to get away from the offending person as quickly as possible – end of story.

Yet Chiron can be the hidden key to some very close, deeply loyal relationships between two people who don’t appear to have anything else in common in terms of synastry. Let’s find out why.

Nikki10 writes, " I do agree that soulmates are talked about and popular but many people dont really know what they are. A soulmate is a person that has agreed (before they are born) to help you learn lessons during your lifetime, and you have agreed to help them also, help their soul evolve." 11.08.12 forum.astro.com


CHIRON’S SECRETS IN SYNASTRY

• Chiron plays the healing role only when it is tightly conjunct a natal planet in the other person’s horoscope, using an orb of around 1 degree or less. (Actually, I would bet on the very tight opposition also, but I don’t have the charts to back this assertion up.)

• A light-bulb clicked on in my brain - Chiron also seems to operate something like the Moon when a conjunction is formed. In a synastry context, the emotions, vulnerability, and self-protectiveness of the Moon mesh closely with Chiron’s energy.

• For this conjunction to work without becoming terribly wounding and destructive, the two people can’t live together. If these two people recognize their need for space, and never attempt to live together, they can be life-long friends or lovers.

BFF, BUT YOU WOULDN’T KNOW IT FROM THE CHART ABOVE…

Here’s a nice example of two people who don’t appear to have much in common. My natal is on the Inner Wheel, and my best friend’s natal is on the Outer Wheel. Almost all of her planets are situated in the “middle degrees” between 9 and 21 degrees of a sign. None of mine are except Uranus. Yes, my Jupiter makes a partile trine to her Ascendant, but this is hardly “wicked crazy” synastry. Sure, a bunch of her planets make sextiles to mine, but sextiles do not a synastry make, if the reader catches my meaning. There is only one set of near-partile conjunctions in the chart – her Chiron and my Moon-Saturn.

Jenn lives in Cincinnati, and I live in Maryland – about eight hours away by car. We have been friends for nearly 15 years, and I am god-mother to her daughter. Months may go in between phone conversations, and we don’t keep in touch on Facebook, but when we do get on the phone hours pass before we stop talking, and we pick up effortlessly on the shared experience of our life as if the time lapse was unimportant. We also have a remarkable shared taste in jewelry – Jenn is always buying me cleverly designed, semi-precious pendents or necklaces on QVC, and I hardly ever return anything.

Over the years, I know that Jenn has healed (her Chiron) my limitations (my Saturn) almost unconsciously. I only get to spend a week or so at her house in Cincinnati every other year or so, but during that week I feel as if I have come home. Plus she tells me how intense that week is for her (her Chiron is on maximum overdrive, and that can be exhausting).

We both recognize how difficult it would be for the two of us to live together, even though we did it for three months when I was leaving my ex. In our synastry, the Saturn is mine, and I am the one with the crazy, “fucked-up” life, especially when compared to her stable, married, suburban existence. The healing dynamic of Chiron goes both ways, though. Like a gentle physician, she gives me stability and sensitive insight, and I teach (Chiron) her about a wide world of experience that she wouldn’t otherwise access.

First, let’s look at what Lois Haines Sargent says about a Moon-Moon conjunction in synastry in her mid-century classic, “How To Handle Your Human Relations”, first published in 1958.

MOON CONJUNCT MOON

"Feminine and domestic urges are similar. There is similarity of viewpoint and tendency of mood and disposition. The two individuals will be sensitive to each other’s moods and feelings. Reactions often produce telepathic thought exchange."

"These two agree on little things, and have many likes, dislikes, and tastes in common. There is mutual understanding and sympathy. Many similar traits of personality will be noticed. A tight Moon conjunction is considered a “soul-mate aspect”. P 53

***

Clearly, Jenn’s Chiron operates something like a Moon, and interacts with my Moon in the way described by Lois Sargent above.

Jenn’s Chiron is also very close to my Saturn. In synastry, a Moon-Saturn conjunction is the “tie that binds”. Below is an excerpt from my private notes on Sargent’s book:

"Tight aspects between Moon and Saturn (conjunction, square, opposition, trine, and sextile) are the gold-standard for longevity in a marriage (or a friendship). Sometimes this can be a double-edged sword, because a spouse who suffers abuse finds it very difficult to leave a marriage when a strong Moon-Saturn aspect exists. This aspect is often shared between couples who remain separated for years before finally agreeing to a divorce."

"There is a real sense of duty and obligation to one’s spouse with this aspect, but the energy dynamic does carry a price. A best case scenario blends the Moon-Saturn 'tie that binds' with one of the soul-mate aspects, and other aspects that promote agreement, enjoyment of one another, and compassion."

Sargent goes on to describe the drawbacks of a Moon-Saturn conjunction in synastry – there can be a dominant-submissive dynamic between the two individuals which may burden the Moon person in particular. The conjunction can be a “ball-and-chain” for life. Yet when Chiron “acts like the Moon” and conjuncts Saturn, a healing interaction occurs without any of the negative bondage or limitations associated with the Moon-Saturn bond.

A striking depth and connection and loyalty toward each other is present in our friendship, but the fact that each partner gives the other a lot of space is what makes the relationship last. These people cannot live together, but will be as close as soul-mates as long as they live apart.

When people with very tight planet-Chiron conjunctions spend too much time together, something happens and the relationship fizzles. Chiron is half-horse, and horses get restless and skittish when kept in the barn – they need to be able to run free. These relationships can last a lifetime when each person is allowed the freedom to live apart.

***
With regard to understanding a tight Chiron conjunction with another individual’s planet, I knew I was on to something. So I flipped through my horoscope collection, looking for more examples. A tight Venus-Chiron conjunction would be the soul of tact with each other, I hypothesized. A tight Mars-Chiron conjunction would have one person healing the tendency for anger and aggression in the other – this assumes it is manifesting well, and that these two don’t kill each other first.

Unfortunately, these aspects are rather skimpy in my chart collection – partile or near-partile conjunctions are not common aspects. The best I could come up with was a polyamorous couple with a partile Chiron-Saturn conjunction who don’t live together. The Chiron person is happily married to a third party. The Saturn person has had a difficult life, but relishes his independence. She is a great wit, and heals with continuous, funny banter. Those who know them realized that these two were in love for years, long before they openly acknowledged polyamory.